I am awake…not because I want to be but because my anxiety is on a wild adventure zooming through all the unlikely possibilities my mind is able create.
I have not slept well last night or honestly the last few nights. I have been having very weird, very vivid dreams. Not necessarily bad dreams just those dreams you know that make you uncomfortable and you’re not really sure why. I wake up feeling like I haven’t slept but not wanting to try to sleep anymore.
Now I am here, in my bed, having tried to go to sleep but given up and decided to distract my anxiety with writing.
My ADHD has been really bad the last few days and I have been overthinking more than usual…which is saying something. I accidentally took a double dose of my Prozac the night before last and am terrified that it has affected me in a way I have yet to find out.
I have a lump in my throat and what I think is heartburn. To be honest I have never yet to fully understood what heartburn actually is. Either way, I am uncomfortable and extremely anxious and all I want to do is fall into a deep, relaxing and peaceful dream filled sleep.
Tomorrow is my first day back at work after my six-day vacation and I am happy to be going back. I like having free time and I really needed it but I am happy to be going back to my normal routine with work. And I am excited to see my friends/coworkers.
I started another DIY project today. Recently I have been very determined and motivated to make my apartment exactly the way I want. I want to make it a place that I can’t wait to come back to and spend time in. My girlfriend really inspires me to decorate and set up my home the way I want. She is one to move in and immediately start decorating and making it exactly what she wants. I, on the other hand, am one to move in, unpack essentials and tell myself that it will get decorated eventually. I think it is because I get so exhausted with the moving process that even though I want all the decor and homey feel I don’t have the energy available to me to make it happen.
I have lived at my current apartment for over a year and I am just now starting to get decor and put things on the walls. I am just starting to put the energy and time into making it the way I want. I am happy with what I have done so far and am looking forward to doing more customizations.
This evening I used temporary wallpaper to cover my kitchen cabinets! It made my kitchen so much more interesting. I have yet to finish the top cabinets but the lower ones are COMPLETELY done! I started a DIY project and finished it in one day! I am considering it done even though I have yet to do the top cabinets. The bottom ones are done and therefore I consider something accomplished. I got a little carried away with the wallpaper so I also covered some of the light switches around the house. It is fun to have a little pop of something here and there. Something to bring a dusting of whimsy into the everyday.
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