For many years, most of my years, I have not had anyone that I felt like I could lean on within my depression, mental health struggles or in life in general. I had to keep the true weight of it to myself. I felt like I had to pretend to be okay even when I was NOT okay at all. I felt like this because the people that I had in my life were not able to handle to intensity of the struggles and emotions I deal with. That is not necessarily their fault. Do I think they could have tried a little harder? Yes. But that is beside the point.
Many wonderful people have found their way into my life. People that are able to and WANT to handle me and my depression. I don’t feel like a burden on them even when I am at my lowest and can’t even find a fake smile. They don’t ask me to fake it though. They understand and comfort me. They try to bring me comfort in anyway they know how.
I didn’t know that my depression could be tolerable. I didn’t know that I could have so many supports. It really changes things. This year I have my meds, my friends, my love, my cat Cinder and therapy. I am so supported it feels surreal. I am in awe that I finally have the things I use to BEG the universe for.
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