I am queer. It is something that I have known for a few years now but have had a hard time accepting and frankly liking. I live in an environment that is very much against queerness and sees it as something that is wrong and unacceptable.

Since starting therapy a month ago I have been working on getting more and more comfortable with my sexuality as well as my gender identity. As far as my gender identity I feel more on the nonbinary side of things. I don’t tell anyone though because some would not believe me nor respect it and a lot of the time I don’t feel the need to correct anyone.

As far as my sexuality, only a few people in my life know. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep to myself. I feel as though I am faking it by hiding that part of myself. But I am too afraid of the possible outcome to face it and come out to my family. Someday I will, but I don’t know when that day will be and honestly I fear that day while somehow looking forward to it. That day I will be free. That day may be horrible but at least I will be able to breath again.

Writing this feels good. Publishing it feels good while also making me feel like I am going to throw up from anxiety. I don’t think any of my family members read this this so I think I am safe for now…