November Already?

November…this year is quickly coming to an end. Sorry I have been MIA. This time of year is always more difficult. Seasonal depression sandwiches onto my regular depression and they tag team making my life difficult. I have been on the verge of a slump since August and starting in October it started to take control. I have had only one anxiety/panic attack so far so that is pretty good! Lol! Mostly my days consist of working then coming home to numb my brain with screens. Not very healthy or productive of me but sometimes that is just what happens. Especially because I have never really been a fan of the holidays.

But I have made up my mind to change my mind about the holiday season. Instead of dreading it I want to look forward to it like everyone else seems to. There are things I like…like the music. It snowed here on Halloween and the next day I decided I wanted to listen to some holiday music. It was fun…now the snow has melted which I am not entirely mad about and I am slightly less into the holiday mood. Usually my favorite holiday is Halloween…and my sister and I have a “party” of sorts. We, well she makes spooky themed food and I am in charge of the decorating. This year I guess neither of us were really feeling it so it didn’t happen. I also had to work on halloween night. Oh, and also there was a full on blizzard. Maybe next year…

I will say I am in a better position mentally than I was last year this time. For that I am grateful and proud.

As far a writing. I have not written anything really, since what the beginning of October? To be honest I have barely even journaled. This time of year my mind is so taken over by depression and anxiety and whatever else that the creativity is hard to pay attention to or even find. I feel like my brain runs away with itself and I am left to chase after it. I do what I can to keep my control but it is not always enough. But that does not mean I will stop trying. I am not going to promise posts because we all know that will most likely not happen. I will keep writing when I feel I am able.

Thank you for reading! Talk to you soon…