Sometimes I wish I had a more “typical” high school experience. I wish I had experienced the things that my peers seemed to have experienced, like first love, a first date, a first kiss, having a friend group to experience life with. I wish I had gone to a public high school rather than choosing to be homeschooled. Yes, I chose to be homeschooled for high school. I had a very bad school experience in fifth and sixth grade so my parents decided to homeschool me starting in seventh grade and after that I was too scared to go back. To be fair my horrible experience was not in a public school, it was a very rich and snooty private school. I was never the private school sort of person.
Anyway, now as an adult, I will occasionally watch a movie or T.V show set in high school and wish that I had been brave enough to experience those same things. I know life in high school does not look like the movies but I feel like I deprived myself of the possibility of certain experiences. Of course I will sometime…hopefully have my first date and kiss and my first love I just think there is a certain something to having those experiences as a teenager. And like I said, I never really had good friends or people that I would hang out with. I was a very solitary person. I did have a kind of painful experience involving someone I thought to be a friend and that unfortunately had negative affects on my view of friendships. But, I had others around my that looking back I finally realize, ten years later, that they could have been great friends and I should have given them a chance. But, in the words of Elsa, “the past is in the past.”
I hope someday I will find my people. I hope someday I learn what it means to be a great friend and get to finally experience those “high school” things I was too afraid of at the time.
Living it Up Halfheartedly 