Stargazing

Since leaving my third shift job I have reverted back to my insomniac lifestyle. Staying up to the wee hours of the morning and sleeping in. I love it! Night time is when I can think the most clearly. No distractions, no interruptions.

There is something so comforting and beautiful about being in your own world with your own thoughts. Sometimes the fears start to creep in and attempt to disrupt me but I have learned to push them away.

I may have said this before but one of my dreams is to have a window above my bed or a rooftop I can go to so that I can just get lost in the stars. I have always found the stars and moon so comforting. I remember when I was younger and we were driving home I would press my face against the window and just stare at the moon and stars. I picked my favorite star and would occasionally wish on it. I also was comforted many times by the face in the moon. It might have been because I grew up watching, “Bear in the big blue house” who knows! I think that is the only thing I would miss living in a big city. I would need to find a place that I could just stargaze for hours. When I lived in my apartment and would take out the trash at night I would spend a little extra time just looking at the sky. (Fully aware of my surroundings) I would take a deep breath and gain strength and peace just from those few moments.

Maybe insomnia is not so bad. I gives me more time to look at the night sky. It gives me more time to think and write and discover things about myself. It gives my mind a rest from the busyness of the day. I know I have written this before but one of my favorite things to do is put in both of my earbuds, play my favorite playlist and just lay on the ground in my bedroom. When I do, I imagine I have a skylight for a ceiling and I am able to see the dark abyss full of twinkling stars back at me. I don’t know why I have always found comfort in the sky, possibly because of my religious background, but I hope it never goes away. I know space could make me feel even smaller considering how incredibly vast and unknown it is, but it is the opposite. I think of the sky as a dome enclosing the world and it doesn’t fell so big and scary. Things start to feel more attainable. The pressure of this life start to fade and I am brought back to the thought that we are all just tiny beings on this giant rock hurling though space. Life is life, we are all doing the best we can and that is all that matters. At times the pressure will get to us an that is okay. But it is always good to take a step back and again gain perspective. You are doing just fine. Just stop, look up at the stars and know that everything will be okay…somehow. That is stress for another day. Live in the moment and enjoy the things about this world that you can.