I know I say this a lot

I know I say this a lot or I think I do, but the last few days I have felt like I needed to write something. What? I don’t know, just something. I open my computer and log into this blog and stare at a blank page. When I finally feel like I have something to write I will put it on the page and then read it back and not feel right about hitting publish. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because I feel like I just write about the same things over and over again or because I think that what I have written isn’t very interesting. Whatever it is, it is kind of annoying. I have felt this urge to write for a whole week now and am just now posting. I have had a many thoughts rolling around in my brain and a lot of them, most of them, I write down in my journal instead of on here. Most of the things I write in my journal are things that I want to keep private or things that I am just not ready to talk about on here.

I think another reason I have not written in so long is because my life has been pretty mundane. Same thing day in and day out. Job searching, journaling, thinking, and trying to get myself to eat a real meal. Bread and butter are my friends recently. I want some excitement…good excitement. I want some good changes in my life. I think I have successfully gotten through the worst of my depressive episode. I still have my moments but I don’t feel as completely hopeless as I did before. I think I am starting to believe that there really is a light at the end of this tunnel. Now it is time for the changes…good changes. I am manifesting GOOD life changes. Good excitement. GOOD life altering events. I am ready.