As some of you know, I have been going through a really rough patch of depression lately so I have decided to write about things that make me happy. One of the hardest things to do when you are depressed is thinking of things to be happy about or things you are grateful for but, through the many years and many levels of depression I have experienced in my life it has always helped, even when I didn’t think it would. It is something my mom taught me that at first kind of annoyed me. I was depressed and I just wanted to be depressed and not have to work to make myself feel better. Honestly I get like that sometimes still and I think it is important to let yourself feel how you are feeling…for a while then it is a good idea to try to lift yourself back up. And that is where listing the things that make you happy come in. I wrote a similar post called Finding Rays of Happiness but I am going to write another one because I can:)
Okay, so first thing that makes me happy…well lately it is bullet journaling! I did it for a while back in 2020 in quarantine but after life got back to its hectic normality I stopped. Starting it back up has given me another creative outlet, other then writing, that allows me to make many lists! And honestly I love making a good list. Do I love completing the things on the list? Sometimes:)
Okay number two…fall! I love all the beautiful colors of the leaves as they change and the crisp breeze as it draws winter in. I love all the fall activities like pumpkin patches and apple orchards, pumpkin carving and of course HALLOWEEN! I almost forgot, I also love that fall allows me to wear as many layers as I want! The next thing that makes me happy is doing my nails. I love finding an idea on Pinterest and recreating it! I love putting together outfits, going through my closet and coming up with new ideas. Sometimes I take pictures of the outfits and post them on Instagram.
I love going to bookstores and picking out one or two or a couple of books while simultaneously writing down the titles of one hundred more in the TBR note in my phone. I love picking out a book and being so excited to get home and start reading. Although I must confess I have not finished a book in quite a while!
I am always happy going on spontaneous drives, wether by myself or with my sister. In fact I did just that the other night, I was feeling suffocated that day and just needed out. I took myself to get food, ate in my car, walked around a few stores picking up some self care items then got back into my car and turned on my music. It was a pretty warm night so I decided to go for a drive. Two hours later I made my way back home in a much better mood then when I left.
I like laying on the fuzzy green carpet in my room, putting in both earbuds and listening to my carefully curated playlist as I close my eyes and let myself drift away into my imagination. I love it when I get inspiration and stay up into the wee hours of the morning writing my book. It is the kind of insomnia I always except! I love getting inspiration for a new blog post. I love driving past the lake, just seeing the water makes me feel better. I love popping some popcorn and finding a new or familiar movie or show to watch. Last night I started watching, for the tenth time, a childhood favorite show of mine. The memories definitely brought me comfort and made me happy.
I love lingering outside at night just staring at the beautiful, twinkling stars that fill the sky. I love getting lost in the thought of our small planet flying through space and me and even smaller being surviving on that small planet hurling through space. I like laying in my bed pretending I have a skylight above me so I can continue stargazing. I like visiting a big city and feeling like I am home. I like wrapping myself up in multiple blankets and curling up in a ball as I fall asleep. And I like listening to someone talk passionately, their eyes sparkling, about something they love!
There a quite a few things that make me happy. Today it is much easier for me to think of things because I have been practicing for a few days already. If you are in a bad pocket of depression or a bad pocket of any kind I hope this helps. Even if you can only think of one thing like…being happy that you sat up in bed today. That is perfectly okay! Every step counts. You will get better, I will get better, we can do this. At times it may feel hopeless and pointless but I promise you it is not. This is something I myself did not believe just two days ago and honestly have to keep reminding myself. Yes…I know that hearing that things will get better is sometimes annoying and just plain frustrating but…it is still a sliver of hope that we need to keep holding onto. Hope, in any form, is important and necessary. That sliver of hope could be the knowledge that I and many others are in the same boat as you just trying to get by or it could be that one thing you thought of that makes you happy. Either one is important. You are not alone. We WILL get through this…we CAN get through this!
Living it Up Halfheartedly 