I applied for a job at a publishing company last night. It was my first time writing a cover letter and my first time being confident enough to apply into an industry I am passionate about. Unfortunately I received an email today stating that the position had been filled. I am disappointed but at least I now have gained some confidence to apply to other jobs I may not think I am “qualified” for in industries I like. With no college degree and little experience finding a job can be difficult. Especially in this job market. I want to open my bookstore but I am just starting that journey. I need a source of income but after fighting the worst depressive slump I have experienced in many years I don’t want to settle. I need something that fuels my soul even a little. Living with my parents has given me a little financial freedom and for that I am grateful…but I feel immense guilt as well for quitting without a backup plan. My mom and my sister are the only ones who know I quit. I don’t want to tell my Dad. I don’t want to be the person that just lives off their parents.
Today my Dad asked me when I go back to work. I avoided the question. I didn’t know what to say. I made a rash decision, I know that. But I…I don’t regret it.
Living it Up Halfheartedly 