I think I quit my job.

I did something or rather didn’t do something last night that…well that I am not sure was a good thing or a bad thing. As I stated in my previous post, I am deep into a depressive episode. Much much worse than it has been in years. Last night I didn’t go to work…now you may be wondering why that is so bad well, I did not call in either. Still you may be wondering what is so bad or maybe you understand. I personally have never not showed up without calling. I don’t know what it means and I don’t know how to move forward. Did I quit? Will I get fired? I didn’t think that far ahead last night when I made this decision. I fell asleep and did not set an alarm. I hoped that I would sleep through my shift. Was that bad? I feel a little guilty but honestly not that guilty. I have the rest of the week off because I had requested it off a few months ago for a family gathering that I have decided not to go to. So, do I just not go back next week? Do I call and say I quit? If I stop showing up will they assume I quit? I don’t know how this works and it is starting to freak me out. I don’t have a backup plan. I don’t have another form of income. Yes, I live with my parents so my bills are minimal but, I still have bills! What was I thinking? I should have just called. I was on the verge of being fired anyway for being late so many times and apparently taking too many days off. I was hoping they would fire me so I could get unemployment while I look for another job because I don’t know how long getting another job will take. I don’t have much in my bank account right now. I think I have enough for maybe a month of expenses so hopefully it doesn’t take longer than that to get another one.

What have I done? Do I regret it? Kind of but not really. Was it a decision I made very rashly and in a manic state? Maybe. I haven’t told my parents or my sister. I don’t know how to. Is it really that serious or am I being dramatic? I am sure others have done the same but this is my first time. AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!