This is Depression

Depression is powerful and confusing. You can think that you are gaining the upper hand and then it comes to overtake you once again. It can make you feel like you are winning for a long time. A week, a month even a year. But when you least expect it it takes control. There is no rhyme or reason to its madness. Your life may be fine, good even to someone looking at the outside but only you know the fight going on inside. Your circumstances may not be “the” circumstances that typically lead to depression but that does not mean your depression is invalid. All depression is valid. It is something you can not control. You may be doing everything you can or know how to do to make it disappear. Trust me I am in the same boat. I try to do the things that bring me even a little bit of happiness. I try to fight back. I am in a constant fight. But sometimes it becomes more powerful and I have to retreat to rest and gain my strength back. I am in that state right now. I have no desire to be participating in the world. I don’t want to leave my room. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t even want to leave my house to do the things I like. I just want to sink into the corner and disappear.