Heart Update

How do you deal with emotions? In all honesty I am not the best when it comes to that. I usually push them down, ignoring them until they have become bigger and threaten to overtake me. Last week I experienced something minor with my health. I was at work and almost fainted. I called my cardiologist later that day and let them know what had happened. They asked me to come in the next day to get an EKG, blood work, and a heart monitor that I would wear for two weeks. After that I didn’t really experience anything truly alarming. I pressed the button on my heart monitor whenever I felt something that was abnormal. I had made up my mind that I would ere on the side of alerting to all symptoms, big or small, rather then only focusing on the things I deemed significant which was quite different for me.

It has been a week since I had the monitor put on and I have not felt the fainting feeling but I have had quite a few things happen that I have pressed the button to mark. The other day while at work my heart rate went up into the hundreds after taking out the trash. Now that is not uncommon for my heart after doing something physical but it usually would slow down rather quickly. This time it did not slow down. It stayed in the hundreds for over four hours despite me resting and doing everything I could to try and slow it down. My oxygen was low as well, my normal range is in the high nineties but it stayed in the high eighties to low nineties that whole time. I messaged my doctors office, they called and got more information and based off that they said it was not too alarming. I carried on with my day not worried because I trust my doctors. I was fine and eventually my heart rate went back down to its normal range. Since that I have felt overall okay. Today I received a call from the doctor asking if I could come in for my yearly check up tomorrow rather then June 28th, the day I had scheduled originally. Her exact words were, “we want to make sure there are no collaterals causing any problems.” To be honest I don’t know exactly what that means and it scares me a little bit. I am assuming it is similar to the issue I was having three years ago that ended up in a heart catheterization. I am hoping I don’t need another but I would take that over a regular surgery any day.

I am writing this is an update as well as a way to deal with my anxiety. I am VERY nervous about tomorrow but I would rather go and find out it is nothing then not go and end up in the emergency room. Like I mentioned I am not the best at dealing with my emotions in the moment. Or ever really. I am trying to get better but after so many years it is hard to change. I have found that the best way for me personally to deal with them is to write about it. So that is what I am doing! I did not write about what happened last week and mistakenly thought I was okay. Only to break down this week and almost have an anxiety attack. You may be like me and not want to or not know how to deal with certain emotions but I encourage you to give it a try. Ask for help if you need it. Trying is better than waiting until they consume you. They will make their way out one way or another and I find it is better to be in control of the way they are processed rather then letting them control it. My version of processing and dealing with my emotions is writing but others deal with them by talking to someone they trust or even talking to themselves and getting their thoughts in the open. If you have emotions that you have not processed they will eventually make their appearance wether through physical symptoms or emotional symptoms. Sometimes even both. You being in control of that is so important. I am not an expert by ANY means on dealing with emotions but I want to let you know, don’t be like me, start taking control of them and dealing with them in a healthy way rather than waiting until they have control.

I am nervous about tomorrow and what is to come but I know it will all be okay. I will update you as soon as I can! Wish me luck!!