Sunday Thoughts

I am currently sitting on my couch on a peaceful Sunday, face mask on wondering what to write. Looking for inspiration. Nothing comes…What do you write when you feel like there is nothing in your life worthy of writing about? I need inspiration, not just for this blog but for my life. I work a forty hour a-week job just like everyone else. During which I am on a schedule, someone else’s schedule. Some else’s time. I wake up to an alarm, struggle to get myself out of bed. I sleep a little too long and now I must scramble to get ready and grab a protein bar on my way out the door. The weekend I may have off means I have my time to myself. I have the opportunity to do something for me and only me. Because for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours my time is my own. I can dictate where I want to be and when I want to be there. I don’t have to be on anyone’s schedule. I can sleep until noon or wake up early and lay in bed daydreaming about anything I want.

These last few weeks I have been struggling with the carousel of life. We get up, go to work, come home, go to bed just to get up and do the exact same thing the next day and everyday after that until we have some how saved enough money, through paying our bills, to retire. Some people never have enough money to retire and must work until they physically can not anymore. Some people are lucky enough to retire early, and live out the rest of their days truly enjoying life and what it has to offer. This is a concept I have struggled with ever since I had my first full time job at eighteen years old. Being in my twenties now I hear they are supposed to be the best years of your life. But looking at my bank account I wonder what makes these years so great? I don’t have enough money to travel out of my state let alone out of the country not to mention COVID-19 restricting most travel. Which I completely understand. Eventually I want to see the world. I want to experience other cultures meet new people, hear their stories. But how is that possible if I must work to live but in doing so I end up living to work. I must work so I can pay my bills and somehow find some to set aside for the future but still have some to have a little fun. I am aware that I am blessed to live in an apartment with my sister that we are able to pay for by ourselves…we don’t go hungry and we have fun. I know I am blessed to have the resources I have in this society. I am thankful for everything I have and everything I have access to. I just want to make the most our of this life. We are only given one so I think it is our job to live it to the fullest and enjoy this world for everything it has to offer. Here’s to living life to the fullest and improving it, even a little, every single day.